OLD - october 18. 2Oo8

thisz all takes place on the edqe of fantasy and reality ; if you never been ..follow me and ill take you there ...

"i met him when i was a little girl..."
i didnt care to much for him then . i barely knew him.
but i was infactuated . he reminded me of butter ; the extra smoothe type .
( & im not jus talken bout his skin ] im talken bout hisz words.
ive always loved wordsz and he would spin those words and speak those words so effortlessly .
he never thouqht about what to say ; he'd just say it .
&nd that was the most sexiest thinq to me . so before i KNEW him , i quess
i kinda crushed on him ...

"..he qave me poetry ; he was my first..."
my friend knew him first and they were the coolest of folk .
the type of folk that smoked weed on wednsdays and qot drunk on fridays .
he was BOMB to me . i quess i thouqht it was perfect. but perfection can be a misconception especially when you qet to happy. And i qot TOO fuccken happy.
i got lost in his words and like a childish immature crush - i iqnored everythinq else.
the Truth of the matter , the matter of fact was this...it was just an immature childish crush .. but it went deeper than that ; soon it qot too deep . and slowly ; i began to drown and like a superhero he'd save me...

" but in my heart i knew i wasnt the only one ..."
plain and simple . i wasnt . and its hard when you qet that HAPPY and that intriqued , you tend to avoid those kinda questions because youre not ready for those kinda answers. "Yes , she is " or "No, shes not" or "You will never be " or "WE will never be" ; so i lowered myself and i became softer and easily amused . because i liked him. liked is past but he is still present so i quess i LIKE him. and i am at the point in my life where i am qrown enough , wise enough , and smart enough to know when to hurt. riqht now i am hurtinq myself because i lowered myself . HE didnt lower me , i did this all on my own and the funny thing is HE doesnt know that. ( until now ; if he qets it )

"...he qave me his shoulder ; hisz words were very nice..."
i woke up one day and i realized that i had sumthin to say . so here it goes and im ready for the world riqht here and now. saddness isnt the word to describe the mood. Purple Rain maybe or even Love of My Life (Ode To HipHop) . music is the key . music is feeling and it seems that every feeling can be described by a sonq and a moment and a lyrick and a rhyme . in closing ; i am over this infactuation . my feelings will be ONLY in the sonqs and never expressed to YOU. i always come to you ...you never come to me and for once ; i wanna see what you will do ...